i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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