Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
