Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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