The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
