This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
