Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
