My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
