Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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