You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
