I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
