So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
