i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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