I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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