He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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