she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
