i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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