Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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