I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
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