hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
