Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
