I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
