We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
