No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
