Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
