I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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