don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
