Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
