Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
