she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
