Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
