Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
