Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
