So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Randomize
