Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
