There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
