I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you would pick up someone in the library
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
