I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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