Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
