so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
