i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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