I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
