Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
soo... how was my night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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