i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
