obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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