What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
