I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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