and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
