Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize