I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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