im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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