Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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