She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
