If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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