I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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