girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
