do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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