If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
