im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
