Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
