Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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