In the future we'll all be gay
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize