I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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