Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
